Sunday, March 3, 2013

Swami Beyondananda’s 2013 State Of The Universe Address

Just back from a gig in the Van Allen Belt please welcome the Mel Brooks of Metaphysicians - 
Swami Beyondananda


Time to Shift or Get Off the Pot

Steve Bhjaerman, OM Times Magazine, March 1, 2013
shift_or_get_off_the_potWell, the world didn’t end on December 22, 2012.  Talk about an anti-climax.  The shift of the ages happened seamlessly, as the Creator hit Re-Start and the Show got renewed for another 26,000 years.
I don’t know about you, but I’m inspired.  I’m like, “Start the world – I want to get ON!”
So let’s just say the rapture happened and we all got born again without reincarnating.  In other words, the shift has hit the fan.  And if you’re not a fan of shifting now, you will be soon.  The planets and stars have done their part.  Now it’s time for humanity to shift our karma out of reverse and get our assets in gear.
You probably don’t get the Timeless Times where you live, but beings from across the Universe are rooting for us.  Last month, their headline was, We’re Betting On the Human Race.
I know this because I just got back from a trans-universal tour seeking the Key to the Universe (turns out, it’s been left unlocked so the joke was on me) and I come bearing a Universal message for humanity: “It’s time to shift or get off the pot.”
Or, stay on the pot if you need pot to shift you.  Whatever it takes.
It’s time for us to use our intelligence intelligently, and begin thinking like a species – because in terms of global footprint, call us Bigfoot.  And given our big global footprint, we must develop a big global brain and even bigger global heart to weave us back into the web of life.  We don’t want to flunk third dimension now, do we?
And if we are – as evolutionary biology is now telling us – all cells in the body of a super-organism called Humanity, it’s time we gather all good intentions under One Big Intent:  Thrival for all.
I know, I know.  I am proposing a sane world.  I must be crazy.
But I’m not the only one.  More and more humans are going sane, and committing themselves to turning the world into one big sane asylum.  People are waking up and wising up, and the good news is the “evolutionary upwising” gathered esteem in 2012.
Take the Presidential campaign – please!
In sharp repudiation of the conventional belief that there’s no such thing as a moderate Republican, the people of the United States thumbed their nose at convention and actually elected one President.  So there!  No longer high on hopium, a more sober body politic made what they saw was the better choice — positive change in small increments, as opposed to negative change in large excrements.
Speaking of which, the never-ending war on terror (“We’re going to win the war to end all wars, even if it takes us forever!”) went droning on in 2012, and we now have space-age wind-up toys doing our assassinations for us.  As for success, it’s been hit-and-miss, mostly hit.  Because even when they miss, they still hit something, right?
Oh, and in 2012 the climate over climate change got heated up, as reality-deniers faced off against … well, reality.  So, is climate change real?  Well, I’ll put it this way.  I just came back from a terrific vacation in the future.  Spent a glorious week in Tropicanada.
And the gun debate has had everybody up in arms.  Listen, every child in America should be taught the appropriate use of arms as soon as they have arms to raise – hugging.  Hug first, ask questions later.  Come up with your hands out!
If that doesn’t isolate the sociopathogens, I don’t know what will.
Join the UPwising – Wake UP, Wise UP, Grow UP, Show UP
Here’s some good news.  Now is the perfect time to make the shift, and I will tell you why.  Because it’s too late to do it sooner, that’s why.  I’ll put it bluntly. If we humans don’t begin rowing together in the same direction, we’re going to be up shift creek without a paddle.
Now as you know, there are two kinds of mystics in the world – the optimystics and the pessimystics.  The pessimystics tell us “the sky is falling!”  The optimystics say, “No … it only looks that way, because WE are ascending.”
Personally, I am an optimystic realist.  While many look at the world situation and declare the glass 95% empty, I take the opposite position.  To me, it’s 5% full!
So yes, we have an uphill journey.  But otherwise, it’s all downhill.
There are those who say a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, while others swear by the 12-step.  I present here a compromise – four simple steps to make sure we step out in the right direction, mathematically guaranteed to work three times faster than 12-step.
Now, if you remember I presented the same four-step program in last year’s State of the Universe.  Please forgive me for serving up laughed-overs, but these four steps that will take us from children of God to adults of God are even more important this year.
They are …Wake Up … Wise Up … Grow Up … Show Up.
First step, Wake Up Laughing.  As the ancient Foo Ling Masters who achieved Cosmic Comic Consciousness came to realize, life is a joke … but God is laughing with us, not at us.  The Creator is watching the Comedy Channel, and WE are what’s on.  Yes, the world is in serious condition – largely because of our conditioning to be serious.  So instead of having gravity bring us down, we can choose to have levity lift us up.  Hearty laughter makes us go completely out of our head, and puts us right in the heart.  And that brings us to Step Two.
Second step, Wise Up Loving.  To counterbalance all the challenges of being human, we were given the power of love, the universal solvent.  You have a problem?  Dissolve it in a warm solution of love.  Through the power of love, we can metabolize all the BS (Belief Systems) that we mistake for reality.  And the good news is, love is more powerful than fear.  How do I know?  You ever hear anyone singing, All You Need Is Fear?
Third step, Grow Up Giving.  Each of us has been given a special gift just for entering – so you are already a winner!  We are the Creator’s creation created to create, so what are we waiting for?  Time to give all we were given to give …  before we give out.  The more of our gifts we give, the more we grow upward.  So if you’re spiritually upwardly mobile, here is my suggestion.  Make a “bucket list” of all the undertakings you wish to undertake before being overtaken by the undertaker.  And then undertake … and over-give, and you can’t grow wrong.
And finally, Show Up Living.  Show up for the Greatest Show On Earth … it’s better than reality TV … it’s REALITY!  A once-in-a-lifetime world win adventure show, where the whole world can win.  It’s the Hero’s Journey with One Big Hero … the Human Race.
I’ve said it before, and it certainly applies now.  If you don’t like the current programming, turn off your TV and tell-a-vision instead.  So, I will tell my vision.  I see it now.  TheTimeless Times headline that reads:  “How Did The Human Race Turn Out?  They WON.  They Achieved Oneness and Won.”
© Copyright 2013 Steve Bhaerman.  All rights reserved.  Look for Swami Beyondananda on line at
Illustration by Brian Narelle

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